Imaginary friend or spirit?
Your child has a friend nobody else can see. Here's what I'd want to know.
First: breathe.
Imaginary friends are very common, and usually healthy. Paediatricians say so too. Some of these friends are imagination. Some, I believe, are family in spirit. The good news: what you do is the same either way.
Details
Does the friend have details your child couldn't know — a family name, old-fashioned clothes, a habit Grandpa had?
Timing
Did it start after someone in the family died, or is your child named after someone?
Calm
Is your child calm around it — curious, happy, chatty?
Later
Does it know things that turn out true later?
Lots of yeses? Could be spirit. Lots of noes? Could be imagination.
Either way, the next screen is the same.
Stay calm
No big scene.
Ask
Man or woman? What do they look like? Let them draw it.
Write it down
With the date. Time sorts it out.
Teach one sentence
The one below.
“Now's not a good time. I need to sleep. We can talk tomorrow.”
Call your paediatrician if
- the friend is frightening or threatening, or tells your child to hurt anyone
- it never goes away and your child pulls away from real people
- sleep, eating, speech or behaviour suddenly change
- you already had worries about development
- a teenager hears cruel or commanding voices
If something happened to your child, a professional comes first.
When I was small, I talked to trees.
There was one outside my window in Cairo. Nobody told my parents what to do with that. I made the course I wish they'd had.
— Dina
My Child Sees Spirits
What's going on, what to say at bedtime, and when to call the doctor instead.
See the course →